Thursday, May 11, 2006

Mission Impossible

4:26am--Baby wakes and wants to be fed

4:44am--I finish feeding baby and naively believe that I will still get some more sleep in

5:55am--I am rudely awaken by my 4-year-old who announces that he has to go potty

5:59am--He finishes going potty and I vainly instruct him to go back to bed because "it isn't time to wake up yet."

6:15am--I can't sleep because all I can hear is my 4-year-old making noise so I get out of bed and plead with him to be quiet.

6:30am--I hear the dreaded sound of his feet padding up the stairs toward my bedroom, he wants to know if he can "sleep" with me (and being the seasoned mom of a 4-year-old boy I know that this is code for "jump in your bed while you pretend you are sleeping"), I tell him he can at 7:30

6:40am--He comes back upstairs and announces that once again, he has to go potty.

6:401/2am--He further announces that he has to go poo-poos to which I defeatedly reply "ok, hurry up."

6:43am--He asks if I will check to see if he wiped well enough, I concede and he assumes the position, and I note that he did not, in fact, wipe well enough. I send him back in.

6:44am--He comes back for a second look, and no progress has been made so I decide the fastest end to this is to do it myself.

6:45am--The both of us huddle over the sink soapy handed as I instruct him to head back down and back into bed because it still isn't time to wake up yet.

7:04am--Baby begins cooing, and being the seasoned mother of a 4 month old baby, I know this to mean I have less than a half hour before she demands to be fed. I desperately hope that I will be able to sleep during this time period.

7:09am--cooing gets louder, I can't sleep.

7:17am--cooing gets even louder, I still can't sleep.

7:22am--The Cooing his escalated into an all out cry, I finally agree to feed her.

7:221/2am--Before I get the chance to feed Baby, 4-year-old comes up and asks if he can wake up yet. I agree that it is time for him to "wake up" and I proceed to grumpily get him his orange juice and bread and turn on disney channel for him.

7:25am--I go in to feed an irritated Baby.

7:40am--she finishes, and I briefly consider not changing her diaper in an effort to get more sleep. This is ridiculous, I tell myself, and proceed to change her. By now I can barely move my appendages.

7:49am--baby is fed and changed, 4-year-old is happily watching cartoons, I devise a plan to get some sleep: Perhaps if I lay baby in bed with me, she can play happily while I snooze. This sounds good enough to me and has been known to work in the past, so I proceed.

7:50am--She lays down and I get under the covers and begin to relax

7:51am--baby begins fussing, she is clearly not happy with the plan.

7:52am--I decide to go to plan B, Baby swings in swing while I sleep.

7:55am--Baby begins happily swinging, I get back under the covers.

7:56am--Baby begins fussing, she is clearly not happy with plan B. In vain, I demand to know what is wrong with her, and what she could possibly want. I take her out of the swing and hold her in my lap requiring me to sit up and therefore not get any sleep. She, of course, is very happy with this plan, I am not.

7:59am--I decide to try and press my luck and shoot for plan C: baby lays on baby toy mat and proceeds to be entertained while I sleep.

8:00am--I begin setting up baby mat right next to failed baby swing, 4-year-old bounds upstairs. Without looking at him, I warn him to stay downstairs. He announces that he wants to get his coloring book and color. I give in against my better judgment in hopes that I might still get some sleep.

8:03am--baby begins to play happily, I get back under my covers.

8:33am--Baby begins to fuss, she is clearly not happy with plan C. I beg her once again to tell me what she wants, and I decide she might be tired as this is usually when she begins to get tired.

8:34am--with anewed hope, I put baby in her crib. She is quiet--too quiet. I get back in bed and recount with deadly fear that usually when she goes in her crib quietly, she doesn't last long.

8:44am--Sure enough, she begins fussing. Then, I begin fussing. Fussing leads to crying--for both of us.

8:45am--I tell myself that she is hungry and decide to feed her again. She is happy with this plan and begins to eat.

8:48am--4-year-old comes up and wants to know when breakfast is, I tell him he has to wait until I finish feeding baby. After he climbs all over me and baby, he decides to go back downstairs.

9:06am--baby sleepily finishes eating, I naively think she will take her nap now, so I set her back in her crib. She begins screaming, she is clearly not happy with this idea. Being the seasoned mother of a 4 month old that I am, I know she needs to sleep so I let her cry.

9:07am--I foolishly get back into bed and cover my head with another pillow.

9:15am--4-year-old bounds upstairs again demanding his breakfast. Realizing I promised him, I grumpily get him some cereal.

9:20am--on my way back to bed, I feel bad for baby crying and decide against my better judgment to try to rock her to sleep. To her delight, I enter her bedroom and pick her up. She is happy in my arms, but not for long.

9:35am--she begins fussing again, I regret getting her out.

9:36am--Knowing that she is overdue for her 9:00 nap, I decide to let her cry in hopes that she will fall asleep. I put her in her crib, she is clearly not happy with that plan.

9:38am--I crawl back under my covers and reason that if I put a pillow over my head I will be able to sleep peacefully for a few minutes.

9:39am--I realize I am running out of air so I pull off my pillow, baby is still crying.

9:41am--In a desperate cry for help, I call my husband who is out of town, I naively believe that he will know what to do. He empathizes with me, but that doesn't help me get some sleep so I say a very sad good-bye.

9:50am--Determined to have my baby take her nap, I decide that the only way I'll get some peace is to go downstairs and watch some TV to drown out the crying.

9:51am--I change the channel from disney to Regis and Kelly and watch a show about what mothers want for mother's Day. I begin dreaming of getting some sleep for mother's day...

9:55am--I am jarred back into reality by an angry 4-year-old who has finished his breakfast and wants to know why I changed the channel. I give in and change it back to Disney.

9:57am--baby is still crying

9:58am--knowing full well that I am in this too deep to go back now, I know I must stay downstairs or I will go crazy, so I begin writing my blog.

11:07am--I finish my blog, baby is still crying. I give up and decide to get her and get dressed.

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