Sunday, July 09, 2006

Enough is enough

I made a very scary discovery today in the mirror of the church bathroom--I look about 5-6 months pregnant. This is not good considering I am no longer pregnant (and not either newly pregnant, I tested).

The funny thing is, however, I have actually began a weight loss regimen. I started the South Beach Diet about three weeks ago and it worked like a charm, until I began making allowances for myself, and then it yo-yo'ed (I'm not sure how to spell that, because it isn't really a real word) back and forth which basically amounted to me not losing any more weight. Then a revelation of sorts came to me: eating out gets me every time. No matter how well I think I am doing, eating out has a way to sabotage me. So I've decided to discontinue eating out altogether. Except I am toying with the idea of allowing salads with minimal ingredients and Italian dressing. Other than that, I will be eating my meals at home. If this still proves to sabotage my efforts, I'll be eating nothing at all from a restaurant.

In essence, I am not giving up--I AM NOT GIVING UP! These pounds are coming off dang it if it is the last thing I do. For those of you who are unfamiliar with losing weight, this is what makes it so dang hard. You have to constantly rededicate yourself, and fight like the death at all times. The minute you let your guard down, it gets away from you, and the farther it gets away from you the harder it is to get it back. It it very hard and takes real discipline. But what drives me, and possibly others is the incredibly strong desire to never look pregnant unless I am so. So there it is, I have about 40 or so lbs to go, and I will reach half of my goal by my planned trip to Hawaii which will be good, but not as good as if I were to be all the way there. Sigh. And that's what is so tragic about wasted time. There won't be anymore waited though, because I am back on baby, and this time I am not stopping until I have gone all the way.

1 comment:

Juli said...

I hear you on the not-wanting-to-look-pregnant-when-I'm-not thing. I'm in the not-wanting-to-look-45-and-sedentary-when-I'm-actually-only-30-and-prone-to-late-night-snacking camp. I'm a Weight Watchers fan, personally, and my jeans zipper has been suggesting I get reacquainted with some vegetables and fat-free dairy as soon as possible. Oh, and maybe some sit-ups wouldn't hurt either.
Sigh.