Thursday, September 27, 2007

Kids (grr)

You can't get away with anything when you have kids, case in point:

Today, Gabe had a birthday party to go to, and quite frankly we're on our last pennies (see prev. post) (why is it that birthday parties always come right before the paycheck and not right after? Like the last thing we want to spend our money on is a present for some kid that we barely know who probably already has plenty of toys, and we can't even buy groceries?! I think it's too exessive anyway, perhaps for Gabe's next birthday I'll tell everyone to bring a toy to donate to some children's charity because trust me, my kids are spoiled enough as is!! but I digress...), as I was saying, we are on our last pennies (payday is tomorrow if you know what I mean) so I decided to use a present from the stash of UNUSED & UNOPENED toys that we keep in the closet for just such an occaision. Mind you, none of this was made mention to Gabe, we just did it without prepping Gabe (oh how niave we can still be).

So, Jon takes Gabe to Peter Piper Pizza, and about 20 minutes later, I get a phone call from Jon. Sounding a bit miffed, Jon says, "Next time we decide to regift, could you please tell Gabe not to say anything about it?" To which I respond with unrestrained laughter because I can only imagine what Gabe could have said. Sure enough Jon recounts the gory details: aparently, Gabe, upon entering Peter Piper Pizza immediately found the first ADULT (of course it couldn't have been a kid) and blurts out--right in front of Jon--"This is one of my old toys that I'm too big for." Poor Jon had to fumble to find some sort of an exit out of such a mortifying experience, so he said "Are you sure? I don't think Mom would have done that." Keep in mind that this toy has never been Gabe's, and we never even said anything to him as we got it out and wraped it! GRRR!!!

So Jon pulls Gabe aside and tells him that it isn't very polite to say things like that, to which Gabe replies: "Ok, Heavenly Father will help me to remember not to say that again." And then he ran off to his old Preschool teacher who was present at the party and immediately blurts out "Hey miss Barb--this is my---(and then he looked right at Jon)---uh, it's just a present." Needless to say, as soon as Jon saw Gabe's ride home, he bolted. And this of course makes us positive that while the kid is opening his present, Gabe is going to say "I'm not supposed to say this, but..."

*sigh*

Kids!

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

link to the recipe for Super cookies

I found the recipe, but after reading about it I thought I'd warn you all that these cookies are designed to drastically increase caloric intake as they are meant for the malnurished.

Super Cookies:
http://www.mamaproject.info/pdfs/Super_Cookie.pdf

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Lunch

I dislike lunch a great deal (hate is such a strong word). It used to be dinner that I disliked, but now it is lunch. The reason is that I hate (ok, I had to say it) sandwiches--and why do I hate sandwiches? Two words: Luncheon meat. And "meat" is used in the loosest form of the word. I'm sure you are all aware that all luncheon meat consists of bits of random meats and fats and some kind of cartilaginous filler all molded into a loaf form and then sliced up and sealed in a package of some sort of salty juice. Occasionally I decide that I'm going to push through the pain as it were and eat it anyway, so I load up my sandwich with two slices of lunch meat and cover it up with all sorts of cheese and vegetables and usually that masks the nasty texture of the "meat" that I am eating. But every now and then, I bite into a something that cannot be bitten through and therefore cannot be chewed and that, as you can imagine, ruins the sandwich for me.

Now, because these meats have these unchewable parts in them, I generally choose my meat very carefully but on my last trip to Costco, I just couldn't bring myself to do it. Lunch meat doesn't even look appetizing to me, I can't imagine that it would to anyone else. In fact, I don't think a single person looks at a package of lunch meat and says in their heads "Wow, that looks delicious, I could tear into that package right away." No, I think what really happens is that people are thinking "Hm... Which of these look the least disgusting, and the most like something I could imagine forcing myself to eat?" I can't for a minute believe that I am the only one thinking that.

So, now I am left with nothing to eat for lunch. You see, lunch is a very interesting meal, you don't want to have anything too closely resembling breakfast, and you wouldn't want to have something that you could have cooked yourself for dinner either. I suppose this is why the sandwich fits in so nicely--but what is one to do when there is no lunch meat? I could survive on bologna (don't make the mistake of thinking that because it is processed in a similar way that I don't like it because bologna has a very distinct difference, it is all ground up making the texture uniform and chewable), but that would only last a couple of days.

Today, I decided to take a different approach all together. I decided to get my protien the vegetarian way. I had an apple smeared with peanut butter and chips with salsa. It was a very satisfying lunch-- but I can't argue with the fact that animal protiens are better for your body, so I've got to come up with some way to eat meat for lunch. I'm honestly beginning to think that I could survive on two shakes a day and then have a variable dinner. I already have one shake every day for breakfast, and let me tell you, the lack of variety is actually quite liberating. Maybe I'll just get that recipe for the nutritious cookies they make for starving children in third world countries and have that for lunch everyday...

Sunday, September 23, 2007

Mysteries

There are a few great mysteries in life, here are two in my life:

Firstly, why is it that after every major wind storm a plastic bag is deposited in our backyard? It is always a plastic bag and it is always just one. I'm just not getting it, because I really don't see that many plastic bags hanging around outside. Sure, I see the occaisional plastic bag, but it is usually just one, and not very often. Are we really to believe that that one bag we all see in the street makes it's way over to my backyard everytime it is windy? And furthermore, why our backyard? I want an aerial shot of our neighborhood after a windstorm to see exactly whose backyards have plastic bags in them and whose do not. I'd be willing to bet that not very many do. And while we are asking ourselves these questions, who out there is leaving all of these plastic bags around? Ok, it just occured to me that we can probably account for the majority of them being set free from their garbage can prisons as the exchange from can to truck is made (I have actually witnessed this). So that makes me feel better, at least we can assume that few of those bags have been littered intentionally. Anyone else experience this phenomenon?

Secondly, why is it that we never have enough money? (I'm sure I'm not the only one with this mystery). Seriously though, if you think about it, the reasons people struggle with money usually are the same. For instance:

--They have purchased a home that they really cannot afford (this is not our case, we were given a certain allotment from Jon's employer to cover the cost of our monthly home payment, and like good little children, we came in under that allotment).

--They have too many cars/too big of car payments (We only have one car payment, and while it isn't small, it certainly isn't big)

--They have consumer debt (we only occaisionally do this, and we usually pay it off immediately)

--They spend lavishly (if you consider buying groceries and the odd trip to target to purchase some clothes for my kids on clearance lavish, then I guess we are guilty of this)

Seriously, that's what we spent all of our money on this last payperiod: food, gas for our cars, and about 30$ at target. It has gotten so bad that I can't even buy myself clothes from target because they are too expensive.

Wow, that sounds really bad doesn't it? Please nobody start up a collection for us, I think we'll be alright. It just never ceases to amaze me how we never seem to have enough money.

One mystery that has been solved though is that of why my blog fell into neglect--because clearly I have nothing interesting to say...

Friday, September 21, 2007

Parents Magazine

Parents Magazine is one of the magazines that I subscribe to, and have done so for about 5 years. In the past I have found it enjoyable to read and very informative, but lately it is proving to be ridiculous and overly paranoind. I'm not sure if I have changed or if the magazine has, but let me give you a few examples as I have just recieved the latest issue:

There is an article about eczema which would be fine normally, and has the potential to be helpful but it is written in such a ridiculous way. This part in particular made me chuckle:

"Last summer, Cindy Melvin's sons, Kendall, 12, and Coby, 4, didn't make it to the beach. They didn't play in their neighbors' yards, and they didn't go to camp with their friends. The boys have severe eczema that's aggrivated by sweating and outdoor allergens like grass. 'In September, we had a birthday party for Kendall outside,' says Melvin, of Lakewood California. 'Halfway through, he started itching so badly that he had to go inside and watch the rest of his party from the kitchen window. He was devistated.'"

Well of course he was devistated!! He has two morons for parents that even after 12 years haven't figured out that maybe they should hold Kendalls birthday parties inside because he has a skin condition that is aggrivated by OUTDOOR ALLERGENS. Parents magazine should be using this as an example of moronic parenting rather than attempting to exploit our emotions, because any parent with half a brain will immediately find fault with rather than sympathize with these parents. And even if the story is true, the editors of the magazine should have seen how ridiculous that example was and cut it from their magazine.

Immediately after that article is another article titled "Safety Limits," and the Author starts out promisingly enough making it sound as if she thinks we as parents have a tendancy to be overcautious, but then she ends the opening paragraph with this little gem: "There's no downside to being supercautious." I'm not making this stuff up! Um, by the way, there is a downside to being supercautious, it's called paranoia and it's certifiable.

Aside from the paranoia is the parenting advice from the parents that clearly cannot make decisions for themselves. In one advice column, parents ask questions like: "My 4-year-old always uses his clothes as a napkin! How can I cure his chronic messiness?" As I type this, I can think of at least a hundred different things to try, and I have to wonder, are these parents so completely inept that they can't figure this out on their own? Um--give him a napkin for starters, and make him use it. This next question pushes the borders of believability: "Our neighborhood isn't very kid-friendly. Is it rude to take my children to a different area to trick-or-treat?" Are you really worried about offending your neighbors that are not kid friendly? And chances are, if it isn't a kid friendly neighborhood, they won't be handing out treats. I would just love to hear about the parent that took her kid to the neighborhood pediphile's house to trick-or-treat because she "didn't want to be rude."

"Yeah, the kidnapper wanted to babysit our kids, so what could we do? We wouldn't want to offend the kidnapper. Gee we sure hope that he doesn't hurt our kids. If only Parent's Magazine had answered our question we would have known what to do!"

Believe it or not, it goes on, and each thing is more inane and idiotic than the last. I was just going to let my subscription pass, but I think I'm going to have to call and ask for my money back.

Thursday, September 20, 2007

sheepish

Alright, alright, I found my wallet some nine months ago, it was totally untouched and unmolested. it had been sitting at the bottom of a safe at the Gap in Utah, I guess they just didn't see it when I called to tell them I had lost it-- Further proof of the honesty that is so prevalent in Utah.

I have since lost weight and purchased that pair of jeans, but as summer would have it, I have regained about 8 lbs and am unable to wear them. *sigh* such is life right?

I guess I should catch you all up to speed as it has been almost a year since my last entry...

I have been on a reading spree and I have finally read Wuthering Heights, and Jane Eyre which I aparently should have read in high school, but it wasn't required. Now I am in a Jane Austen period, I've decided to read the five of her novels that I haven't read yet. I have been delayed though, because our amazing and complete local library only has one copy of each of her novels. Can you believe that? One of the greatest authors of all time, and they have only one copy of each novel. So because I am too cheap to buy one, I have decided instead to read her biography. I am actually really looking forward to this though, because I just saw Becoming Jane, and now I am even more interested in her life.

Anyway, I had better go, somewhere in the back of the room I can hear DVD's being ripped from their cases by little hands, and though I dare not look, I must. And then, I must clean it up.

(by the way, I am aware that the names of those novels need to be italicized, but I am writing from a mac, and aparently the process is different and I have yet to figure out what it is. So I'd appreciate it if you'd bear with me.)

Oh, and for those of you joining us for the first time, please read previous posts, as my bitter diatribe about my wallet is hardly representative of the content you should expect to enjoy from my blog. (it's so fun to write as if people are actually reading!)

Also, spellcheck is not functioning either, so I'm afraid you'll have to be patient with me on that one as well.