Thursday, June 05, 2008
I can see now with perfect hindsight where I have gone wrong with this baby of mine (yes, I have already gone wrong with him after only 12 days): I was too confident in my abilities as a mother.
"I love newborns," I said to myself, "This is after all my third one--I've done all of this before!"
"I feel great, I am recovering nicely, I really don't mind nursing him even when he wants to eat all the time," I said knowingly, "and quite frankly he is a good sleeper and I don't mind waking up a couple of times a night to feed him."
These are all red flags that should have tipped me off to the fact that there was a storm brewing...
What used to be a quiet sleeper has now turned into a very NOISY GRUNTY sleeper (The baby, not Jon). So technically he is sleeping, but for all the sleep we are not getting he might as well be crying. He did this all last night and finally fell into a quiet and peaceful sleep just as my other two woke up. Storm.
Then, I decided to change his diaper. I think it must have been filled to past capacity because it fell apart and all the absorbent crystals flew everywhere (and there are millions when a diaper comes apart). And if anyone has ever had this happen they know that they are impossible to clean up with a wipe, you must pick each one up by hand and organize them into some sort of trash situation. So there I am trying to clean up this mess with a squirmy screaming newborn with absorbent crystals all over him. For every one I picked up, he kicked out about a million more and they started to stick to every surface... Storm.
And what is it about babies wanting to eat right when your food is ready for you to eat? Can I get a "holla" from everyone who's ever had to feed a baby?!?!
And I would be extremely remiss if I neglected to mention the fact that I have been abandoned by all of my care givers yesterday making this the first day I have had to care for my three kids all alone without my parents (who have earned their place in the highest glories of heaven for all of the service they have rendered to me this last week), and without my husband (Who has also earned his place along with my parents for putting up with me and for caring for me at the same time).
I even got a phone call from a friend who could tell from only my voice that I was stressed (really? I thought I was hiding it better...).
I should have known that I wouldn't pass through newbornhood without a few thorny bushes and potholes. I can be so naive.