Wednesday, September 24, 2008

New Blog and User Guide

Hello intelligent readers of mine!

For a while I have been speculating that perhaps you all have not utilized my blog to it's full potential (this is just a guess as I have not heard one way or another), so I thought I'd give you a little user guide to my humbly wonderful blog.

First of all, like the background picture? This is some graffiti that I found while on a trip to NYC. I liked the use of color.

Next, if you mosey on over to the right, you will see a few things that I have changed over the last couple of months. First is an email address that is here for you (yes, YOU!) to contact me whenever you want for whatever you want as long as that privilege isn't abused. Second is a list of my other blogs that I also have for you to enjoy. Picture Pages is a private blog showcasing pictures of my family for those of you who want to know what we look like (incidentally, if you want an invitation to that blog, email me or leave a comment and I can grant that wish if you meet my criteria...), and Made By Ali is a new blog that I just created last night! It's going to show all of the fun little projects that I do in my life--check it out! It is a public blog, and I hope that you will all love it.

Below my blog link list is a bookshelf from shelfari, a fun new website that a friend of mine showed me where you get to review books you have read and recommend books to others and see what your friends are reading. Click on that and you can see some of the books that I intend to read and some that I have read. (As you can see it is currently empty which means that I am not reading anything as of yet, and you can visit my other blog to find out why.)

Below that is my twitter updates. What is twitter you ask? Micro-blogging. Essentially, I log on when I get the chance and answer the question "What are you doing?" and it instantaneously posts on my blog for all to see. Check it out, it's kinda fun.

Under that is a list of my Laws of Nature. These laws have been proven by scientific experiments to be true. The rest I'm sure you know, is standard.

I know what you are asking yourselves, "Ali is a mother of three, how on Earth does she have the time to do all of those things, have an opinion, and then blog about all of it?" Simple--I neglect my kids.

Monday, September 22, 2008

My Bread and Butter

I have the best idea for a product, I'm going to make millions!

It's a time machine with an eraser connected to it, and you can use it to erase all of the stupid things you have said or written in the past.

I'm expecting to sell out faster than I can produce, and our forecast projection is pretty darn high.

I can't wait for the prototype because there are a few things I'd like to erase boy howdy!

Thursday, September 04, 2008

We've Had Enough!

Last night on the television, I saw an ad with celebrities who belong to an organization called Stand Up to Cancer . I don't know if any of you have seen this, but you have to hand it to Celebrities and their collective egos to think that just by banding together and getting fed up with cancer, they can cure it. Almost as though a celebrity woke up one day and looked in the mirror, and said:

"Dangit--I've had it with Cancer! I'm sick and tired of it! For a while I was okay with it, but this whole 'incurable' business has GOT TO STOP! I bet if we start a petition and get enough signatures, we could force Cancer to leave us alone. Better yet--maybe Cancer will just get that it's unwelcome and leave on it's own.... maybe we can get Cancer to take Carbon Monoxide with it, and finish all of this in one sh-bang!"

Although, we know that Celebrities aren't that articulate. More than likely it went something like this:


But I thought I'd translate for the common educated individual that I know is reading my blog.

You know, it makes me laugh, because it is just like a celebrity to think that the answer to life's problems resides in his or her fame, and all we need to do is to gather a few more celebrities to up the fame quotient, hold some sort of event where the singing celebrities can sing one big song about love and togetherness-- and BAM! no more (fill in social crisis here). Whereas those of us who graduated from high school by actually attending classes, and have actually set foot on a college campus for reasons academic know full well that "Cancer," unfortunately, can't be cured by being indignant alone. We could gather all of the fame on the Earth and sing all of the cheesy feel good songs that we want and be as mad as hell at Cancer, and after all of that, it could very well continue to be incurable. Huh, go figure.

But hey, Jack Black and Miley Cirus, you guys go right on ahead "Standing Up," I'm sure that you're making a difference. Beware Cancer, this is the beginning of the end for you!

Now, don't get me wrong, I hate cancer just as much as the next ridiculous celebrity, and dangit, if there was a fight between all things good and cancer, I would certainly cheer for all things good. But let's not insult our intelligence here, shall we? What we really need is for all of the celebrities to give a touching thirty second clip of how cancer has affected his or her life and how it MUST BE STOPPED. All while playing that sappy heart-wrenching tune in the background. That just might do it.

Hm... Perhaps if we got that Rihanna... I hear she's a firecracker...