Thursday, September 04, 2008

We've Had Enough!

Last night on the television, I saw an ad with celebrities who belong to an organization called Stand Up to Cancer . I don't know if any of you have seen this, but you have to hand it to Celebrities and their collective egos to think that just by banding together and getting fed up with cancer, they can cure it. Almost as though a celebrity woke up one day and looked in the mirror, and said:

"Dangit--I've had it with Cancer! I'm sick and tired of it! For a while I was okay with it, but this whole 'incurable' business has GOT TO STOP! I bet if we start a petition and get enough signatures, we could force Cancer to leave us alone. Better yet--maybe Cancer will just get that it's unwelcome and leave on it's own.... maybe we can get Cancer to take Carbon Monoxide with it, and finish all of this in one sh-bang!"

Although, we know that Celebrities aren't that articulate. More than likely it went something like this:


But I thought I'd translate for the common educated individual that I know is reading my blog.

You know, it makes me laugh, because it is just like a celebrity to think that the answer to life's problems resides in his or her fame, and all we need to do is to gather a few more celebrities to up the fame quotient, hold some sort of event where the singing celebrities can sing one big song about love and togetherness-- and BAM! no more (fill in social crisis here). Whereas those of us who graduated from high school by actually attending classes, and have actually set foot on a college campus for reasons academic know full well that "Cancer," unfortunately, can't be cured by being indignant alone. We could gather all of the fame on the Earth and sing all of the cheesy feel good songs that we want and be as mad as hell at Cancer, and after all of that, it could very well continue to be incurable. Huh, go figure.

But hey, Jack Black and Miley Cirus, you guys go right on ahead "Standing Up," I'm sure that you're making a difference. Beware Cancer, this is the beginning of the end for you!

Now, don't get me wrong, I hate cancer just as much as the next ridiculous celebrity, and dangit, if there was a fight between all things good and cancer, I would certainly cheer for all things good. But let's not insult our intelligence here, shall we? What we really need is for all of the celebrities to give a touching thirty second clip of how cancer has affected his or her life and how it MUST BE STOPPED. All while playing that sappy heart-wrenching tune in the background. That just might do it.

Hm... Perhaps if we got that Rihanna... I hear she's a firecracker...


Adam and Lisa said...

When celebrities use their fame for multiple causes, does that cause their fame power to become less effective? Or does it grow on its own when split, like some sort of mutant?
Because I know for a FACT that Miley Cyrus was on American Idol gives back.
And if fame power dies when split, I am pretty sure Tom Cruise is all out. But maybe when joining forces with Suri, he can regain some power. You know, until she needs it to cure AIDS.

ali said...

and she will need it, because AIDS is going to take a LOT of fame to cure. Possibly all of the fame we can muster.

ali said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
jill said...

Also very annoying is the need for celebreties to have a camera crew around whenever they offer charity or any type of do-gooding. Like when Sean Penn rented a little boat and floated around (with Oprah's camera man)ranting about the government abandoning those in need during katrina. He was so busy foaming at the mouth, I doubt he would have spotted someone wading through the water in need of help.

Juli said...

Actually, what I think is sad is that organizations get so much more attention based on the celebrites that endorse them. What makes famous people so much more important than the rest of us in the fight for a good cause?
Well, I mean, besides all the money they have.

ali said...

it's fame I tell you. fame can move mountains.

Adam said...

This reminds me of the post you did complaining about Breast Cancer Awareness month.

My question: Why do you hate people who fight against cancer, Ali? I'm not sure, frankly, but I guess everything needs an advocate. Even cancer. Kudos to you for Standing Up FOR Cancer.

Seriously, though, you bring up a good point. So much time and energy is spent on raising "awareness." Believe me, I'm aware of cancer. Making me aware of something isn't going to stop it.

Can we possibly pour some of these resources that are allocated for raising awareness into research and development of a cure? Just a thought.

It would never work, though, because if celebrities and famous people made private donations to cancer research centers... well, where's the camera time?

Melinda & Matt said...

If only all those scientists that have dedicated years to curing cancer would have realized that they just needed to get some celebrities involved then they could have moved on to something better. I agree about the money--if those celebrities want to "stand up to cancer" so much--how much are they donating of their massive incomes? Because really--I can stand up too, but money for more research is really needed--not more people on their feet!

ali said...

exactly. More money is being wasted in the production of these campaigns than is actually going to the cause (I'd imagine).

Sher said...

hey ali, this is the post i read when i first found your page. i totally agree and love what you said here.

Lexi said...

Well written article.