Thursday, September 04, 2008
We've Had Enough!
Last night on the television, I saw an ad with celebrities who belong to an organization called Stand Up to Cancer . I don't know if any of you have seen this, but you have to hand it to Celebrities and their collective egos to think that just by banding together and getting fed up with cancer, they can cure it. Almost as though a celebrity woke up one day and looked in the mirror, and said:
"Dangit--I've had it with Cancer! I'm sick and tired of it! For a while I was okay with it, but this whole 'incurable' business has GOT TO STOP! I bet if we start a petition and get enough signatures, we could force Cancer to leave us alone. Better yet--maybe Cancer will just get that it's unwelcome and leave on it's own.... maybe we can get Cancer to take Carbon Monoxide with it, and finish all of this in one sh-bang!"
Although, we know that Celebrities aren't that articulate. More than likely it went something like this:
But I thought I'd translate for the common educated individual that I know is reading my blog.
You know, it makes me laugh, because it is just like a celebrity to think that the answer to life's problems resides in his or her fame, and all we need to do is to gather a few more celebrities to up the fame quotient, hold some sort of event where the singing celebrities can sing one big song about love and togetherness-- and BAM! no more (fill in social crisis here). Whereas those of us who graduated from high school by actually attending classes, and have actually set foot on a college campus for reasons academic know full well that "Cancer," unfortunately, can't be cured by being indignant alone. We could gather all of the fame on the Earth and sing all of the cheesy feel good songs that we want and be as mad as hell at Cancer, and after all of that, it could very well continue to be incurable. Huh, go figure.
But hey, Jack Black and Miley Cirus, you guys go right on ahead "Standing Up," I'm sure that you're making a difference. Beware Cancer, this is the beginning of the end for you!
Now, don't get me wrong, I hate cancer just as much as the next ridiculous celebrity, and dangit, if there was a fight between all things good and cancer, I would certainly cheer for all things good. But let's not insult our intelligence here, shall we? What we really need is for all of the celebrities to give a touching thirty second clip of how cancer has affected his or her life and how it MUST BE STOPPED. All while playing that sappy heart-wrenching tune in the background. That just might do it.
Hm... Perhaps if we got that Rihanna... I hear she's a firecracker...