Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Drafts + Commentary

Sometimes, when I get the urge to blog, I start a post and then save it as a draft. Some of these drafts were never finished and published, but as I was looking through them the other day, I thought it might be interesting to publish what I had written--you know--just for funsies. Here they are in chronological order along with an update/commentary:

Weighty Matters and Monday Stuff

Good morning!

The time has come for me to get serious about weight loss, as you may have read, I have two kids the youngest of which is 4 months old. Consequently I have much weight to be lost. I am currently a size ** (yes I am admitting this, I feel comfort in the ability to be candid) which happens to be the biggest I have ever been, and I did it all because of and for my children. This is ironic because I never thought that my sacrifice for my children would be my body--I always thought it would be the time I spent caring for them etc. Well, lets be honest, I've sacrificed just about everything from the beginning. But I have been surprised to discover that the sacrifice that has been the most trying for me has been my body. I am also surprised to realize how much I really did like my body before all of this happened. When I think about all the wasted time I spent thinking my body wasn't good enough it makes me crazy. It's true though, I really have given every square inch of my body to my children, and part of that I can live with. (by the way, I should warn you that I am prone to run on sentances and comma splicing. It's part of who I am and if you are going to read this blog you'll just have to deal with it.) The point I am desperately trying to make is that I hate being a size **, it's just unacceptable. Interestingly enough, I have learned that I have a small bone frame and should weigh about 135-140 which puts me at roughly a size 8 and this is what I am shooting for. A little background information on bone frames for those of you that are misinformed: Tall and "big-boned" are not the same thing. You can be tall and have a small bone frame or you can be short and have a large bone frame etc. I myself have been accused of being big boned just because I am tall, and that infuriated me. Here is the method for determining your bone structure size. Measure your wrist

**size omitted for personal reasons. I am happy to report that after nearly 3 years, I have been able to lose that weight and become a size 8. I am planning on doing a post about this though just as soon as I get off my lazy behind and take an "after" pic. Stay tuned. For those of you who are dying to know more about body frames after that little cliffhanger of mine, visit this website and have some fun. Also, it should be stated that there is absolutely nothing wrong with being "big-boned," I was just tired of it being used as an excuse by others for my weight. I knew I was carrying too much weight for my frame, and now I am able to prove it. Please never use the term "big-boned" as a euphemism for fat, all it does is cause confusion. Look at Gabby Reece for crying out loud, she has a large bone frame and she is gorgeous. Being "big-boned" is not a bad thing, it just doesn't always go with being tall. That's all I'm trying to say.

Recurring Nightmare

Last night I had a dream that I dream quite frequently. I dreamed that I was back in High School, and that I had missed a series of days of Math and Biology and a few other classes and it put me seriously behind in my studies. I had missed several homework assignments and I had an insane amount of make up work to do. It was looking like I wasn't going to graduate. I am always panicked during this dream, because it was never like me to miss so many classes and not do my work. I can't begin to tell you the relief I feel when I wake up and realize I am not in High School anymore because I have in fact graduated.

What does this mean? I hate recurring dreams because I start to wonder if there is some unresolved issue in my life that continues to bring on this dream. This morning I woke up wondering if this dream meant that I need to finish my college education...

...and I'm doing that very thing right now. I've tried to justify this for some time now, trying to figure out wether it was worth the time and money etc., and I finally just had to have an honest talk with myself which went a little something like this: "Ali, what do you really want?" "Well, self, really, I just want a degree. I just want it, and I want it from BYU and I don't care what subject it's in or whether or not it will be 'useful' in the present or future." After that talk I was finally able to set some serious goals and stop flirting around with other options.

My Jon

--when I've done something totally crazy and embarrassing, he not only tells me it wasn't crazy and that I shouldn't be embarrassed, he spends the next 30 mins telling me just how perfectly sane and reasonable my actions were.

--he acts as though my body hasn't gone through major change caused by childbearing (and child rearing for that matter).

--he put "buy Ali a new book" on his list of things to do because I had finished a favorite series and was out of things to read even though I know he doesn't love how all consumed I get when I read a good book.

--he actually bought and wore a surgical mask when he came down with strep throat just so he could spare me and the kids from getting sick. And he wore it in public too.

--he loses his ability to reason when anyone has wronged any of his kids.

Despite the fact that I generally hate "I love my spouse so much" blog posts*, I felt inclined to write this one day and tell you all about the little things my husband does that I find absolutely wonderful. One that is missing is taking out the trash. No really, I find myself constantly noticing that Jon has taken time out of his day to empty the diaper pail into the larger trash cans, and this touches me in a very profound way every time (I swear I am not being facetious). Profound, I think, because it is such a seemingly small act, but really it means that he is willing to deal with the most disgusting and foul thing on this planet in order to save me from having to. And he never even mentions it or complains. *sigh* I have the best husband ever--he so totally gets me.

*this doesn't in any way mean that I don't love my husband, nor does it mean that I'm not thankful that everyone else loves their spouse, I just think that these things are expressed in a public manner FAR TOO OFTEN.


Fast as:
A mom running with a potty-bound toddler

Have you ever seen that version of A Christmas Carol with George C. Scott as Scrooge? It's my very favorite version, and one of my favorite parts is when they play the game "similes." Anyway, I decided to come up with a list of my own new similes, but as you can see, this is all I've been able to come up with since 09/04/08. Lame? Yeah, kinda.

Alright, that concludes part one of Drafts + Commentary because the next one is reeeaaally long, and I've taken advantage of your time enough already for one post.


utah valley bride said...

this was so fun! i like coming back months later to drafts of things i write and seeing if i still feel the same way. very fun, indeed.

Melanie said...

I love it! I should go back and look through what I have. Could be an interesting journey...

Erin said...

So fun to read. And congrats on your weight loss!

Jill said...

What a great idea! It was a fun read. Keep it coming.

Juli said...

I'm so glad you posted these, Ali! They're great thoughts even though they're not complete =).

Diane said...

You are a delight! So fun to read about what you are doing, even if it is months late! I am so happy that you and Jon found each other. I loved your little tribute to him...and concur wholeheartedly!

Natalie said...

loved it ali! every post was going to be delightful:). They still were, just shortened. I love the after thoughts that you have added. time does change things doesn't it? Fun idea, i should try this. except usually my unpublished posts are that way for a reason...i still want friends/family when i am done with this blogging thing:).