Thursday, March 04, 2010

Terms Defined

Baby Juice

noun. That which comes out of a baby's mouth which does not contain excessive amounts of food particles or drink. see also: drool, saliva

Mom, Axel got baby juice all over my arm.

ORIGIN American: coined by Ali (I think), perpetuated by Greta et al.

Tuesday, March 02, 2010

The Tooth Fairy Does Not Exist

I'm sorry guys, but I just can't do it all. I just can't do:

--All of the birthday parties
--The Halloween Costumes
--The Santa Conspiracy (including staying up late to put the presents out)
--The valentines
--Everything Green on St Patrick's Day
--The Easter Bunny and accompanying conspiracy/egg hunt
--Cinco de Mayo
--Little league
--Swimming lessons
--Summer camp

AND the Tooth Fairy. So the Tooth Fairy is out. Let's be clear about this though, I don't mind giving remuneration for pulled teeth, I just can't back up the fairy facade.