Friday, October 01, 2010

Holiday Mixing-- This Time it's Personal

Alright. It's time to take a stand. I've stood by silently long enough on this whole holiday/season mixing thing, and I've just experienced the last straw.

I think I've been pretty reasonable up to now, I've endured years of retailers putting out Halloween stuff the day after school begins; Christmas stuff the day after Halloween; Valentine's Day stuff the day after Christmas; Easter stuff the day after Valentine's Day; Guilt trips about Mother's day and Father's Day; Swimsuits in January; School supplies in June; Fall Sales in July; and the inability to find or purchase a pair of shorts after May. Every year it gets worse as the retailers push the dates forward in effort to stay competitive, and every year I've kept my mouth shut.

I kept my mouth shut when we were bullied into decorating for each holiday, and pressured into turning our homes into shrines for each celebration. I didn't say anything (publicly anyway) when they introduced mini Christmas trees for each holiday to decorate-- tweaked with the appropriate color scheme and ornament array for each holiday of course. I'm not keeping quiet any longer though.

You've officially messed with my favorite holiday: Thanksgiving. You were already treading on thin ice each year as you slowly introduced t-shirts with turkeys on them and the subtle engorgement of Thanksgiving decorations available, but there's no mistaking the bold move you've made this year, and it can only be met with equal retaliation. Here are the incriminating evidence:



Thanksgiving Ornaments for your Thanksgiving Tree. There is no Thanksgiving Tree.

Acorn Garland for your Thanksgiving Tree. There is no Thanksgiving Tree.

Thanksgiving Feather Tree-- THERE IS NO THANKSGIVING TREE!!

Here's a little Thanksgiving banner to hang in your house. You know, like you would do for a birthday or for the Fourth of July.

Oh, some Thanksgiving pajamas for your kids! Hey, maybe they could open them on the night before Thanksgiving! Maybe we could make that a yearly tradition!

Wasn't wearing a costume for Halloween fun?? Let's wear one for Thanksgiving too!

Treat bags! Kinda like the ones the Easter Bunny brings.

Hey, it's a holiday appropriate plush toy! Actually I just hate all of these in general...

And finally we have a four foot plush turkey that we can all rally around as the singular symbol of the holiday, just like Santa Clause and the Easter Bunny.

See, the best part of Thanksgiving, the thing that makes it my favorite holiday and really just the best holiday out of the year (the Fourth of July being a close second), is its complete lack of Holiday-ness. There is no house to decorate; No kids to dress up in ridiculous and expensive costumes and makeup; No presents to buy; No silly charade of hiding gifts the night before; No treats to hand out; No "shopping days;" No religious affiliation with accompanying guilt; No anti-religious affiliation with accompanying guilt; No songs written; No school programs to stress about being on time for in order to get a good seat; No school parties to organize; No cards to take pictures for and send to everyone you know; Did I mention the no decorations part? Because that's a big one; No treats to make and hand out to neighbors; No enduring questionable treats from neighbors; No concerts; No Ballets; and if you are a member of my family, No formal wear; Essentially, aside from burning the food, there is no stress. Just a lovely couple of days off where we can be with the people we love and eat the food we love. Watch a parade and a football game, and basically you've got yourself a little slice of Heaven.

AND YOU RETAILERS ARE MESSING IT ALL UP!!!

Do you realize how hard we already have to work to keep Christmas from leaking into and taking over our Novembers? Leave Thanksgiving alone, or there will be hell to pay, I guarantee it. Thanksgiving is the holiday for adults. Its the kind of holiday that we would all put together if we could design a holiday. There is even a separate table for the kids so we don't have to mingle with them. Let us have our day and the month preceding, and do your worst with the rest of the year with all of the kid celebrations.

And I swear on my life, if anyone but anyone dares write a Thanksgiving song, I'll pull out my husband's shotgun.


17 comments:

JujuBean said...

Amen, Ali. And Amen.

Juli said...

Hahahahaha!
I totally agree with you, I promise!
BUT, every year Natalie "dresses up" for Thanksgiving as an "Indian" carrying a sign that says "Eat Pork!", presumably on behalf of the doomed turkey population, and it never fails to give me the giggles. This year Asher has volunteered to be her turkey sidekick.

Outside of that, I'm all about the food. Oh,um, and the family and gratitude and stuff.

ali said...

ok Juli, that is totally different and cute and therefore totally acceptable!

Chocolates for Breakfast said...

ok ali tell us how you really feel? sure glad I didn't buy that thanksgiving tree and turkey costumes for the grandkids...just kidding! at the rate I am going I will be lucky to get a pumpkin out for Halloween!?...but there will be chocolate turkeys at our places for for thanksgiving! I too hate how you can never buy the clothes you need in the season you need them...I could use some new boots for winter (actually have been wanting some for a few years) but can never find them when it is actually winter...hard to get excited about boot buying when it is 95 degrees!?

Emily said...

Haven't you heard the Thanksgiving song by Adam Sandler..pure hilarity. Other than that, I whole heartedly agree. I love a holiday to just chill and hang out with the family. Enjoy food and company....:)

Natalie said...

I concur. really i do. but those pajamas are really cute. just sayin...

Jill said...

So I guess I won't be sending the handmade Pin the Pilgrim on the Mayflower game I made for you......

ali said...

oh I forgot about the adam sandler song-- I really like that one. But no others!

ali said...

and Jill-- that's just awkward for me now.....

ABlack said...

I hear ya about the decorating. In fact this year my older girls keep telling me that our house needs to be more 'Festive' this year. =) I try to appease them by saying sure we will, but knowing me we'll be lucky to get a carved pumpkin outside our door for Halloween. Poor kids. Oh and I love Thanksgiving too!

Jill said...

Heeheeheehee!

Esther said...

Well said, Sister!

Erin said...

This is hilarious Ali. I can't believe you found all those horrific Thanksgiving themed items. Awesome.

Shanna said...

I am dying with laughter right now!! "There is even a separate table for the kids"- best part, you got that right! :D

And, I find it disturbing that the little girl is dressed as a turkey- the main dish of the meal. Is it just me that finds it odd to dress her up with sparkles and feathers as the Thing You Are Going To Eat?

And I have been boycotting Hobby Lobby ever since July when fully half of their store was filled with Christmas isles. Not joking. Christmas in July- there to stay, and I haven't been back since.

Becky said...

Wow. You really put it out there. ;) I can't believe some of those crazy decorating ideas. I was laughing pretty hard. Could not believe the stupid treat bags. Erg.

With that said, ain't nothing wrong with a little festive decor. I'm a sucker for holiday-izing the house even just a little.

Melinda said...

I love it! Love the kids table and totally agree with you on the tree thing--I've seen halloween tree stuff, and easter tree stuff--really?

Though my kids school does have a thanksgiving feast where you come and eat lunch with the kids--cooked extra special by the school cafeteria--that almost spoils the whole holiday right there ;)

Annalee said...

I agree with you on everything but decor.

I like to "fall" decorate with pumpkins...and I even made a banner. So take THAT.