Thursday, May 26, 2011

More Goals

Last year, I lost all of the weight I had gained by making babies, and I remember that day when I reached my goal and didn't have to diet as strictly anymore. I was happy, but oddly, I felt a serious sense of loss and disorientation. I had been "trying" to lose weight for about 8 or so years on and off between pregnancies, and at the reach of this goal I had been so dedicated that for a while I didn't know what to do with myself. What on earth was I going to do with all of that extra time and energy? I needed some serious direction. I immediately thought that I might like to tone up my newly smaller self and get some much needed muscle and strength, but I didn't really know where or how to do that properly.

I finally feel like I have found a great program to do that with (P90X for those who are curious), and so I embark today on another physically challenging goal.

For me, there is just something about being thirty-- I'm finally old enough to realize that I have to make my own destiny (physically or otherwise), and for the first time in my life I can clearly see that someday I will get old. I refuse to let my body turn into a puddle of useless goo. I want to be strong and healthy for the rest of my life. As it stands, my muscles are in a very sad state of underuse. My core muscles are so completely weak that I can barely do any activity for too long without my back hurting. Case in point-- I went on a bike ride with my little family, and long before my legs and my heart complained, my neck and back complained. That's pathetic.

After I lost my weight, I immediately had a surge of desire for any type of physical activity, and one of those was to learn how to surf. My brother-in-law gave me a small lesson one afternoon on our last trip to Hawaii, and what I mostly learned from him was that in order to surf, I'd have to execute a perfect push up and then throw my legs and feet under my chest before I even had to worry about balance and sharks and other sea creatures. The thing is, I can't really do a push up. My upper body strength doesn't exist. I want to be strong and fit enough to tackle any activity that I want to do at any time.

And in a more vain area, I am sick to death of my stomach hanging out of my clothes. One of the adorable girls in my sewing class asked me one day what it felt like not to look like I had been married for 10 years, and I laughed but inside I thought, What is a woman supposed to look like after 10 years of marriage? Haggard? Worn down? Lumpy? Am I supposed to hand over my femininity and body shape just because I'm 30 and already married? Hell no. I'm not living the rest of my life like this, I'm doing something about it.

And so it begins. 90 days from now, I will be a new person. I will be stronger, fitter, and tighter, and when I travel to oceanside, CA with my family this year, I will learn how to surf because pushups will be a piece of cake. And when the 90 days comes to an end, I will find another challenge and I will continue to challenge myself physically for the rest of my life.

Cheer me on?

10 comments:

Erin said...

Of course Ali, I will always cheer you on. Getting in shape is a very worthy goal. Just to make you feel better, I also never used to be able to do a push up. I have no natural upper body strength. I was the kid in middle school who couldn't last even one second in the chin hang exercise. (It was all very embarrassing.) But all the gym time I have put in over the last 5 or so years has changed that and I can totally work the push up--not a ton of them mind you, but I can do them. Good luck!

Kara said...

Awesome! You can do it!

I will say this, a lot of times neck and back pain on a bike had more to do with the setup of your bike, than it does with your body. It might mean that your handlebars are at the wrong level or at the wrong angle. Or your seat is pushed too far back.

Juli said...

You Go Girl!!!! I think I need to adopt your attitude--you're absolutely right that we don't have to look droopy & half-dead just because we're getting older and have a few kids under our belts. Thanks for the pep talk, and good luck with the P90X--I know a lot of people who have a very intense love-hate relationship with it, but it really seems to work wonders!

Chocolates for Breakfast said...

you go girl!...and that is totally what i feel like, " a puddle of useless goo"!

ty and megs said...

i'm here and i'm cheering! you go girl!!

Jill said...

Great post, Ali. I am at this phase in my life. I totally understand the frustration of making progress when still in the birthing years. It is impossible to really see anything through or enjoy the hard work for too long when a pregnancy quickly can change it all. I am enjoying moving into the non-birthing phase in my life and look forward to the transformation my body needs and deserves. Keep us posted!

Melanie said...

After reading this I think I feel a complex about turning 30 coming on. Yep. Yep. There it is.

Emily said...

Ross and I are starting that on Monday. I swear...I can't wait and am also a little terrified. I'm a huge wuss. We've actually had it for like 3 weeks and now we're doing it. I'm tired of being a whimp....Yay for you1!! Can't wait to talk to you about it!

Teri said...

wow..I felt exactly the same way turning 30! and my body did change.. I cant eat whatever I want with out not fitting into my fav. jeans..I HAVE to excersize... Its been hard..but Ive started a new routine and eating habits.. healthy is what I want..good luck! you can do it!

ABlack said...

Inspirational Ali! My 31 year old body fees the same way, only I haven't been nearly as motivated. I fear I'm on my way to becoming a hunch backed old women if I don't get some serious strength in my upper body. I wish you were hear to make me work out. =) Good luck!